Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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