I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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