Four minutes until I can fart!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
