is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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