I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
