He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
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