After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
