I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
