Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
