so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
