i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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