chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
