Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
