is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
