I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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