Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
