I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
