I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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