fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
