dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
