I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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