There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
