I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize