i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
