I heard we made out
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
