I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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