my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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