from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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