Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The feeling are messing with the penis
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
