I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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