She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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