Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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