Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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