Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
