oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize