I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I need a beard to bite.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize