We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
