Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Pooping to opera.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
