his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
