I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
should my penis look like a turkey
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
