How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
