If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
