Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My life is pants optional.
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