I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
