Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
the liver wants what the liver wants
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
