stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Why are your pants in the freezer?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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