Grow some girl-balls and come out already
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
