she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
