She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
