he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
