I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
where does the pee come out of this thing
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
