Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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