East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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