If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My vagina is officially offended.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
