that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
