Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
