Will you blow on my dice?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize