but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
