Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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