i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
