And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
