Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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