Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
40s are totally the cure
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
