Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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