I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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