I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I want a musical about memes.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
