For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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