Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
