and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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