I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
