Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Can I color on your dick again?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
