So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
