do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Who died my cat blue again?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
