I'm going to rape someone's good day.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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