Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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