Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
