My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
